21?!

Hi lovely readers!

Wow… In less than half an hour, I will be leaving the young age of 20 and will be legal worldwide! My year of being 20 has really been a long one, and I’m soooo ready to leave it behind. This past year has taught me so many harsh and humbling life lessons, and I hope that as I enter my 21st year, I’ll be a tad bit wiser and smarter. It seems like I’ve grown so much in the past year and I’m glad that I took the time to really find myself a bit more and eliminate the negative influences that were bogging me down. Now, I feel so much healthier on the inside and I have never felt happier. For this, I have the tremendous support of my few and closest family and friends for their never failing love and guidance. Without them, I would still be that naive little girl who couldn’t fend for herself.

Things have been extremely busy as of late, but I’m so excited for the summer. Being hired for my first ever full time job is so exciting, but terrifying at the same time. Now, time seems to whiz by and now I truly realize the things my older friends and relatives warned me about. Gone are the days where I could sit on my bum the whole day and do nothing productive… now my days consist of meetings, trainings, workshops, or running errands. It’s never ending!

In saying that, though, I am truly blessed to be living the life I’m living and I can’t believe how extremely graced I am with this life God gave me. Although I do have my bad days, I’ve finally grown out of that silly mindset that the bad days are going to last forever. Now, I know that even though my day seems to suck, my life really isn’t all that bad. In fact, it’s actually really freaking beautiful.

What my 21st year of being alive has gotten me so excited! I can’t wait to see what God and the universe has planned for me… I confidently open my eyes, soul and heart to what this next year will bring me. This year is going to be the beginning of another amazing journey, I can just feel it.

Au revoir 20, you have impacted me in so many life changing ways, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the test first, and the lesson after. 21, I’ve been waiting a long time for you… let’s work hard and party harder!

Infinite love and blessings,
P

Ma vie sur le moment.

Hi my lovely readers!

I am so terribly sorry I haven’t been updating as much as I would have liked to. School, work and other commitments just ate up so much of my time. However, now that finals are over, I can finally breathe and give this some attention! 

Firstly, I am super elated to report that I got into my Bachelor’s of Social Work program at UBC! I finished in the top 60 applicants and I am so relieved and excited to get started. I finally feel like I am moving forward in my life and getting out of my comfort zone into a brand new adventure. 

Work is work… Difficult, but full of surprises and good experiences that keep me on my toes every week. As tiring and stressful as it is, I am so grateful for my job and am sad to be leaving it by the end of June to accomodate my BSW’s demanding course load and practicum. Since I will be leaving this job, I am currently looking for other employment opportunities to get through the next few years of school and other expenses – so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I hear back from a few potential employers!

The first part of 2013 has definitely been eventful. Full of surprises, twists and turns, and most importantly great experiences and memories. I am definitely looking forward to what will unfold later this year.

I’ll be sure to update again fairly soon not only on this blog, but also on my food blog (http://nombetweenthelines.wordpress.com/). I have so many drafts waiting to be finished on both of my blogs, so I hope that you will enjoy them when I finally get around to posting them. 

That’s all for now! I hope you are all having an amazing end of April! 

Love,
p

Back to the Motherland!

I am glad to update that my family and I have made it through both our flights (our red eye from Vancouver to Manila and Manila to Kalibo) in one piece. Now I remember why I dislike travelling by plane for more than 5 hours – the lack of space and comfort is truly one of the most terrible things ever. Luckily, our second flight was in business class, which was such an improvement. If only I could always afford flying business instead of economy… oh well.

Philippines is, for a lack of better words, hot and humid. However, I was quite surprised that I was faring pretty well with the temperatures considering I was still wearing pants and a blouse. Hurrah for my inner Filipina coming out! Weather talk aside, one thing that I have enjoyed a little bit too much on this trip so far was riding a vehicle that we Filipinos call the tricycle. It is basically a motorcycle with a sub-car that holds more passengers. My aunt picked my family up from the Kalibo airport, and she took my sister and I to our house in one of the municipalities via the tricycle.

Honestly, if there is one thing you must try in Philippines, it is riding a tricycle. It made me feel so at peace and at home. The breeze cools you down, and the ride is slow enough so that you get to appreciate the view better. Although the tricycle isn’t exactly the best contributor to lowering the threat of climate change, it is truly an experience that I would love to go through every single day.

Oh, and some of my cousins that live next door to us, they are way too funny for words. I can’t believe it’s been 8 years since we have last seen each other! We all definitely have some major catching up to do in the next couple of weeks.

I hope you are all enjoying your last day of June as it is now July where I am.

Happy Canada day to all us Canadians! Our country is really one that we take for granted.

Love,
P

A Simple Reminder

Although he and I have been through so many downs lately, he just reminds me all over again why we still have held on for this long:

“I want us to be financially stable. You know, my aunt asked me ‘why do you do network marketing?’ and I told her, ‘I want me and my girlfriend to be stable.’ … I am doing it for my family. Our family.

Even after almost 17 months of being together, he still manages to make my heart race and give me butterflies. Despite him being able to make me feel super frustrated, angry, sad, annoyed, happy, delirious, and all of those other adjectives in the dictionary, my heart has honestly never felt so much love for a man before. D and I have both painfully realized that we are still young, and because of that, he and I have such a long journey ahead of us. However, he and I are beginning to realize that even though we are both very different people now than we were when we first started dating, at the end of the day, those differences should only make us appreciate each other’s uniqueness.

I am so unbelievably proud of him for making huge decisions in his life that have received so much criticism. He tries so hard to make sure that he balances his even busier life with work, the business, family, friends, and me equally. Although I have really given him a hard time in the past year, time and again, he still manages to keep me his top priority. I hadn’t realized how much he does so until recently.

God is putting us through these challenges for a reason. He is putting us through these differences and bitter battles because He wants us to learn how to better appreciate each other and to fully understand why we are so different now. From our philosophies to our life choices, God intended for D and I to choose our own very different paths so we can grow better as individuals so that in turn, grow to love each other more deeply.

I get that now.

Even though I still get frustrated at him easily, get moody and take it out on him, D has been ever so patient and does his best to understand where I am coming from. We both know that it will take so much work than we had initially thought to make our relationship work. At the same time, however, D and I are also learning that our relationship needs to be more carefree and fun like how it used to be. Once we find that healthy balance, he and I will be set for life. But most importantly, once we find our complete faith in God, D and I will finally be at peace and complete contentment with our lives and with each other.

Au revoir teens, bonjour twenties!

Wow, in just under an hour, I will be leaving my teenage chapters behind and embarking on a new adventure into my twenties. Looking back on my teenage years, I realize with some embarrassment how melodramatic and unnecessarily complicated they were. From the catty high school drama, to the unwanted pimples, the lecturing/nagging of my parents and family, to the late night cram sessions, to the crushing break ups, to organizing a school wide clothing drive that donated 2000 pounds of clothes to a local shelter, to organizing my prom, and to finally walking the stage as a high school and Associates of Arts degree graduate, my teenage years were certainly memorable. Despite all that, I can say that I did thoroughly enjoy my years as a teenager, and I bid it a bittersweet adieu.

Finally entering my twenties, I feel pretty darn excited to start. Twenty seems to bring with it a feeling of anticipation, of mysterious journeys, and as well, a slight tingling of hesitation. No longer am I considered a “teen” as I am now closing that chapter in my life. To be honest, I am pretty tired of being nineteen since it seemed to carry with it so many responsibilities that I wasn’t aware of until half way through it. However, I can’t say that I resent my last year of being a teenager. It gave me many lessons and experiences that shaped me into the overly complicated and passionate gal that I am now.

For some reason, I have been looking forward to turning twenty for a while now and for the longest time, I could not figure out why. That wasn’t until after today, when I went to my high school’s commencement ceremony for the Graduates of 2012. Being there brought back so many memories of my own high school graduation and made me realize how long I have been waiting to finally take a step out of my comfort zone and into the real world. Now, being twenty, I am beginning to feel like I finally can.

In the next decade, I want to be able to say I have explored much of the globe, to have obtained a degree, to have finished school with little to no debt, to have found a stable job that supports my family, to have married the love of my life, to have grown in deeper faith and love with God, and ultimately, be truly happy with where I am in life.

There are so many things I want to accomplish for myself in the next few years and I absolutely cannot wait to achieve them. Hopefully during the next couple of years, I will grow to be a better person not only for myself, but for others, and most importantly, God. 

I hope you are all having a fantastic June! And to those who are celebrating June birthdays with me – Happy Birthday! Go knock back a few drinks and have a blast. 

– P

Wanderlust

Travelling has always been something I enjoyed, even though I normally do not fare too well with travelling with my family for more than a week. This is mainly because I like having some time away from them and by half-way through our family trips, I am about ready to pull my hair out in frustration and make a trip back home on my own.

However, I do enjoy the fact that my family organizes annual trips during the summer so we can explore different places. Now that I am nearing the end of my teenage years, (turning 20 in exactly 29 days – yay!) the desire to travel to places I have yet to explore is really driving me insane with desire to book the next flight to some beautiful foreign place and spend some time there. Of course, being a nearly broke university student and only working part-time, my bank account simply cannot afford to travel to wherever my heart desires.

That is why I have been trying very hard to save up in the recent months so I could have enough to go somewhere. Of course, convincing my parents to trust me enough to go somewhere without them will be a big challenge, but I have been desperately wanting to take a first real step into the life of an adult and going off to a distant land without them. For me, I think I will personally be more appreciative of my family if they let me take the big step of travelling without them for once. Hopefully, they will let me do this in the near future!

Familial concerns aside, I would definitely love to travel somewhere with a rich history and stunning sights. For me, I am more of the learning and exploring type of traveller. When I go to foreign places, I love learning the history and stories behind what make it so beautiful and alluring. What I love most about coming home from a trip is looking through my photos that I have taken and reliving the memories I have created and knowing the significance of every picture and what stories or facts I learned about a certain monument, sight, etc.

Now that summer is nearing, I am beginning to let my mind wander more to the thoughts of exploring new places and seeing the beauties this world has to offer. I guess I should take this time to tell you all of my top 5 favourite places that I need to visit within the next decade! It was hard narrowing it down, but I think this list is pretty solid.

santorini-sunset1

1. Beautiful Santorini

After reading the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants series, I have been convinced that Santorini, Greece is my top destination to travel to. I even have it as one of my options of where to honeymoon! It just seems like a place that is so bright and wonderful, and I have always been interested in the Greek culture growing up. Ahh, thinking about it makes me want to book the next flight to there, so I will move on, haha. 🙂

Flourishing Florence

2. Flourishing Florence

Italy is a country many people would like to travel to, but Florence in particular has caught my eye. It just seems so simplistic and rustic, and full of wonderful architecture that I would just love to take pictures of. My boyfriend also used to live there as a child, and often tells me stories of how beautiful it was.

Under-rated Prague

3. Under-rated Prague

Prague is one of those places that many don’t seem to think about visiting when in Europe. A good friend of mine who happens to be a seasoned traveller just went there last summer, and she said she loved it and it definitely was a top destination to see. I wish I knew more about it, but hopefully, I will be able to spend a week there and just enjoy the atmosphere.

Mysterious Egypt

4. Mysterious Egypt

Growing up, I always had a fascination with Egypt and the typical stories we hear about Pharaohs, Sphinxes, and the incredible pyramids that were built so long ago. There is just something so sultry and sexy about Egypt that makes me want to explore it so badly. Who knows, perhaps I might stumble upon a zombie mummy! Actually, when I think about it, I would rather not….

La Belle Paris

5. Paris

I know, I know. Clichéd ending to my top 5 destinations. But come on, Paris is definitely a place almost everybody wants to travel to before they die. For me, the French culture holds a special place in my heart. I have always loved the culture and the language, and I just find it simply romantic. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always dreamed about travelling there and just walking to La Tour d’Eiffel, or L’Arc de Triomphe. Something about it is just so magical and I honestly am so looking forward to booking a flight there. It will most likely be one of the best experiences in my life.

So that concludes my top 5 places. It was very hard narrowing it down just to 5, but I think those 5 are quite incredible. There are so many places I would love to travel to and have never even considered, but I do hope that in the near future, my life will allow it! For now, I will stick to saving up and being wise about my money. It definitely will pay off when I finally have those tickets in my hands. 🙂

I hope you are all enjoying your month of May – I can’t believe it has flown by so quickly! I am very much looking forward to June and the rest of my summer and I hope you are all doing the same.

– P

Understanding and epiphanies.

This post has been a long time coming. It’s one where many, many thoughts have been swirling in my mind and I just felt that I really need to express them. To be honest with myself and with you readers, this post is actually quite a personal one for me and one that I am quite hesitant to post and write. It deals with themes that go beyond the surface of how most people see me, and it really does go quite deep into how I truly am as a person. However, like I said before, this post has been a long time coming and I feel that perhaps it could relate to many others as well.

I am a very complicated person. Actually, scratch that. I am a fairly simple person that makes things very complicated at the most inopportune times. There’s just this tendency in me to take a very simple situation and find some way to complicate things and make it all too dramatic. This trait about me is most likely why I feel that my life since entering high school until now has been one huge and long dramatic movie. As terrible as that metaphor is, I can’t really explain how else I feel about my life as of late. It’s been filled with the usual heart-wrenching scenarios that seem to stretch on forever to the overjoyed moments that brighten up my life at least for a moment.

To say that I am a very melodramatic person would be the understatement of the century. Those closest to me would probably use this adjective to define me quite well. I guess I was just born a naturally passionate and dramatic person. Since entering post secondary, I thought I would be more mature about how I act and treat others, and that being just a month shy of being 20, I hoped that I would be more blasé, calm, cool, collected, and more open-minded of others. Unfortunately, I’ve come to the realization that I have not changed much since my high school days and as much as I had hoped to be more mature about more aspects of my life, I seem to be stuck in the same place as I was pre-graduation. To avoid being redundant, I haven’t changed one bit and it’s disappointed me to say the least.

What I feel disappointed me the most was the fact that I have a hard time really listening to what others were trying to tell me only because I concentrated on one thing: me. It seems that scenarios have always been about me, me, me and never about others. After having some hurtful, but truthful words thrown at me by my significant other, I have painfully realized what I secretly knew all along: I’m a naturally selfish person.

This isn’t to go without saying that I do try my best to be there for others and the fact that I nearly single-handedly organized a school wide clothing drive that raised a significant amount of clothing to be given to the homeless shows that I do have some non-selfish bones in my body. However, as I realized tonight and what’s been accumulating for the past few months is the realization that I expect too much of others and always manage to find a way to make sure I benefit from a situation.

This isn’t healthy at all.

With these expectations comes disappointments, and which I especially put upon my significant others. I guess this is why my other relationships have failed and which is why I’ve been having a hard time with this one. This inborn disposition I have of expecting my significant other to always be there for every single aspect of my life has led to having an unhealthy relationship. That isn’t what I want nor what I was intending for, but that is what happened and is happening. As unselfish as I try to be, I know that deep down, the most selfish parts of me always strike at the most inconvenient times and end up hurting the people I care about the most.

For ages, I have been trying to figure out why I place these unrealistic expectations of people only to be disappointed that they didn’t meet them. As I was reminded tonight, my significant others have been there for me, I just did not truly see it. I continue to ask myself these questions of why I cannot seem to be ‘okay’ without them and not show the qualities of being a ‘clingy’ significant other. It simply is just a hard thing for me to let go of. My past relationships have made me into a very insecure and overly cautious person, scared of losing someone I care about for the fear of being alone.

I realize now that I have lost the independence I worked so hard to achieve. Where is that girl who would be okay without her significant other for a few days? Where is that girl who didn’t need him to be always at her beck and call just so she could feel close to him?

I want her back, but I am having a difficult time getting her back simply because of my silly fears and insecurities. I know that girl is still inside of me, I just have to let go and be trusting of my significant other long enough to find her. Time and time again I have been reassured by D that he loves me and has proven that I can trust him. Yet, I still give him a hard time at the stupidest things. I struggle with letting go of this and like he told me, I need to stop wanting to do things and just go ahead and do them.

I want him to stop feeling guilty of not meeting these stupid and ridiculous expectations, when in fact, he is honest to God one of the best people who I have been blessed with in this life. God initially brought us together, and now, God is putting us through this challenge because He believes we can get through it. I need to be more trusting in D and in God that I am never alone, no matter what my stupid negative thoughts say. This love is one that has taken me through hell and back, but I have gotten through it in one piece. Now I need to start really doing my part of this relationship and focusing on really listening to what D has to say and not being so freaking uptight and disappointed all the time. He truly is the best boyfriend, stubbornness, frustrations and all. I try to remind him time and time again, but I know I have to start reminding myself that he is only human and can only take so much. That he deserves rest and time away from me and that it is perfectly okay and healthy for that to happen. 

Realistically, I know this realization won’t magically cure me over night. This is something that needs to stem deep down inside of me until it flourishes beautifully on the outside. Life is a work in progress, and so am I. This epiphany has never been as sobering and hard-hitting as it is now. I just need to start really going through with it. Not for the sake our my and D’s relationship, but because I need it.

Sorry for going all emotional and depressing on you readers. I am really writing this with a heavy mind and a heavy heart. I certainly hope that you are fairing much better than me in all aspects of your life.

Pulling another all nighter due to unnecessary emotional thoughts,
P