21?!

Hi lovely readers!

Wow… In less than half an hour, I will be leaving the young age of 20 and will be legal worldwide! My year of being 20 has really been a long one, and I’m soooo ready to leave it behind. This past year has taught me so many harsh and humbling life lessons, and I hope that as I enter my 21st year, I’ll be a tad bit wiser and smarter. It seems like I’ve grown so much in the past year and I’m glad that I took the time to really find myself a bit more and eliminate the negative influences that were bogging me down. Now, I feel so much healthier on the inside and I have never felt happier. For this, I have the tremendous support of my few and closest family and friends for their never failing love and guidance. Without them, I would still be that naive little girl who couldn’t fend for herself.

Things have been extremely busy as of late, but I’m so excited for the summer. Being hired for my first ever full time job is so exciting, but terrifying at the same time. Now, time seems to whiz by and now I truly realize the things my older friends and relatives warned me about. Gone are the days where I could sit on my bum the whole day and do nothing productive… now my days consist of meetings, trainings, workshops, or running errands. It’s never ending!

In saying that, though, I am truly blessed to be living the life I’m living and I can’t believe how extremely graced I am with this life God gave me. Although I do have my bad days, I’ve finally grown out of that silly mindset that the bad days are going to last forever. Now, I know that even though my day seems to suck, my life really isn’t all that bad. In fact, it’s actually really freaking beautiful.

What my 21st year of being alive has gotten me so excited! I can’t wait to see what God and the universe has planned for me… I confidently open my eyes, soul and heart to what this next year will bring me. This year is going to be the beginning of another amazing journey, I can just feel it.

Au revoir 20, you have impacted me in so many life changing ways, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me the test first, and the lesson after. 21, I’ve been waiting a long time for you… let’s work hard and party harder!

Infinite love and blessings,
P

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Ma vie sur le moment.

Hi my lovely readers!

I am so terribly sorry I haven’t been updating as much as I would have liked to. School, work and other commitments just ate up so much of my time. However, now that finals are over, I can finally breathe and give this some attention! 

Firstly, I am super elated to report that I got into my Bachelor’s of Social Work program at UBC! I finished in the top 60 applicants and I am so relieved and excited to get started. I finally feel like I am moving forward in my life and getting out of my comfort zone into a brand new adventure. 

Work is work… Difficult, but full of surprises and good experiences that keep me on my toes every week. As tiring and stressful as it is, I am so grateful for my job and am sad to be leaving it by the end of June to accomodate my BSW’s demanding course load and practicum. Since I will be leaving this job, I am currently looking for other employment opportunities to get through the next few years of school and other expenses – so I am keeping my fingers crossed that I hear back from a few potential employers!

The first part of 2013 has definitely been eventful. Full of surprises, twists and turns, and most importantly great experiences and memories. I am definitely looking forward to what will unfold later this year.

I’ll be sure to update again fairly soon not only on this blog, but also on my food blog (http://nombetweenthelines.wordpress.com/). I have so many drafts waiting to be finished on both of my blogs, so I hope that you will enjoy them when I finally get around to posting them. 

That’s all for now! I hope you are all having an amazing end of April! 

Love,
p

Food Blog!

Hello my lovely readers!

I know I haven’t posted on this blog in a while, but I assure you that I have plenty of thoughts and ideas that have been piling up in my ‘drafts’ section waiting to be published – so please look out for those! On another note, I have also recently started a food blog and would really appreciate it if you all took a look at it and perhaps even follow it! There I will be posting up all food-related things such as reviews, recipes, and my own culinary adventures.

Here is the link: http://nombetweenthelines.wordpress.com/ Oh, and major thanks to my best friend, Shai’a for helping me think of the site url. You guys have no idea how long it took me to get my food blog started simply because I had no idea what to name it! Nevertheless, I am extremely excited to get more content up on there.

I hope you guys will like what you read and see there. I’m really looking forward to updating both these blogs more frequently and just interacting more with the WordPress community. 😀

Wishing you all a lovely beginning of March,

P

Good riddance, 2012.

Hello again lovely readers!

I hope your holidays have been nothing short of amazing and that you all celebrated with your nearest and dearest. Christmas was quite the event at home, and I swear that if I must have leftovers again for the rest of my life, I will choose to starve instead. Which also reminds me that I must get back to exercising to shed off all this holiday food and sitting around… fun!

Can you believe that in less than 48 hours, it will finally be 2013? We have all survived December 21st without any major natural disasters, or invasions of zombies, and wow… I still cannot believe how quickly 2012 has flown. As cliché as this sounds, looking back on 2012, I could definitely say that it’s been one heck of a learning experience and a year of personal growth. It’s been a humbling year that’s taught me to grow a bit of a backbone and not focus too much on people who don’t make a genuine effort to be in my life, and instead, to move on and be thankful for those who do make an effort.

2012’s taught me that although I feel absolutely broken and torn up about my life, there will always be a silver lining and a valuable lesson learned. Although I have gone through some of the most horrific incidents in my life thus far that have scarred me, I learned to look past them and focus on what I could do to move my life forward. Prior to the end of this year, I was all about self-pity parties and taking a small negative situation and turning it into an unnecessary big one. To be honest, to say that I am really, really, REALLY tired of all negativity in my life is a huge understatement, and I am glad that I have a better mindset to be able to move forward in life, even if the path of moving forward isn’t exactly how I had pictured it.

I am nervous, excited and relieved for the arrival or 2013. 2012 just seemed to be one long and arduous year and I am really glad to be leaving it behind. I am anticipating 2013 to be a year that will bring me and my loved ones amazing blessings, and I cannot wait for it to begin!

I hope that you all have taken many valuable things away from 2012, and that 2013 brings you wonderful memories, experiences and most of all, I hope that 2013 allows you to live your life the way you deserve. Readers, I have learned/am still learning to always look at everything in a different perspective, a perspective that is much better to look at. This quote that I read somewhere online describes perfectly how I try to live my life now:

“You can choose to let your past define you and confine you, or you can choose to learn, grow, and leave it behind you.”

Have a safe and amazing NYE, my lovely readers! And may 2013 bring you all of your life’s dreams and more. 🙂

Love,
p

To Be Vulnerable

In the early stages of falling for someone or beginning a potential relationship, you normally take the time to really get to know a person inside and out before deciding whether they are worth it. The foundations of trust and loyalty are made, and with it, the lowering of high walls that have been built to allow somebody special to come in.

The smallest of facts and the biggest of secrets in your life are shared and kept in a special drawer in the other person’s mind. A strong sense of ease and comfort slowly solidifies, and an even stronger feeling of love and care begins to take shape. You begin to notice the little quirks of your significant other, such as the adorable way he always laces the left shoe before the right, or the way he constantly bites his bottom lip when he’s nervous. You tell him about how you fear being alone and forgotten, and he tells you how much he wishes his parents would show how proud they are of him. Promises are made in hushed whispers, vowing to never leave each other “no matter what”. Both of you bare it all, leaving your hearts raw and vulnerable.

With this vulnerability comes a great deal of responsibility on his end, placing your ever so delicate heart in his hands.

Just when you thought you knew everything there is to know about the person you deeply care about, you then find out that everything was an absolute lie. Your world and everything you thought you knew is shattered and you are left lost and overwhelmed with uncertainty and doubt.

Insecurities and endless questions fill your mind, leaving you grasping for a sense of normalcy; a life vest amidst the turbulent waves of lies and deception. As much as you both try to salvage what is left of your relationship, it is to no avail. The suspicions and constant unease ruin the foundations of your relationship, leaving a trail of despair and a broken heart.

Walls are once again put up to safeguard what little of your beaten heart is left. Your broken feelings are hidden behind a facade void of emotion while inside, you are screaming for honesty, justice, and most of all, love.

Once again, you are brought painfully back to reality, your relationship seeming to be nothing but a fleeting moment in this chapter of your life. You are then left to pick up the pieces and forced to move forward in the hopes of eventually finding a person worth your while.

The Flirts

Flirts.

Whenever I hear this word or when/if it comes to mind, I honestly shudder and get an immediate negative vibe. Why do you ask? Because I despise flirts. Not just any flirts, but flirts who unabashedly flirt with somebody who is already taken. More specifically, women who flirt with males who are taken.

Coming from personal experience, it still baffles me that even when I have entered my twenties, I still encounter selfish young ladies/women who outwardly flirt with gentlemen who are taken. Whether I be hearing this problem come up in my other girlfriends’ relationships, or encountering it in my own, having another female unnecessarily flirt is never a good thing. What is just as bad are the ladies who flirt but try to play it off as: “No way! He’s like a brother to me!” Or the crowd favourite: “I’m only trying to be friendly.

Nuh uh, girlfriend. Being a “sister” or “friendly” does not entail the following:

  • calling/texting/messaging your gentleman friend almost every day;
  • asking him to meet you often;
  • unnecessarily worrying him by making yourself look like a damsel in distress;
  • always asking him to hug you;
  • blatantly ignoring the fact that he has a woman;
  • not backing off when he’s clearly friend zoned you;
  • sounding moody/jealous whenever he talks about his SO;

This list could go on forever, but I think you readers get the point. The first question I ask is why? Why do countless of ladies everywhere do this? Don’t you have any respect for your fellow woman? It just shocks me that ladies think it is perfectly acceptable to go ahead and excessively batt their eyelashes and flirt like there is no tomorrow.

Personally, I see it as being very insecure and desperately seeking attention, or, just being plain vindictive, selfish and evil. Perhaps the conscience of these types of women do not kick in, or, their id is going into overdrive. Whatever it is, it isn’t good and should not be tolerated.

What is even worse, though, is when our gentleman friends accepts it and flirts right back, but that’s a whole other story for another time.

So to all you ladies out there encountering this problem, I feel for ya’ll. Do not tolerate this kind of behaviour, and you should definitely do something to squash this petty problem before it gets bigger and grows into a difficult problem that may break your relationship. Believe me, you will want to nip that flirtatious she-devil in the bud before she sinks her claws  overtakes your relationship. Besides, if your SO continues to tolerate it, or doesn’t find any means to stop it, then he’s most likely seeking attention just as equally and is a waste of your TLC and energy.

Know your own worth, my fellow ladies! Save yourself the drama and heartache, and confront these flirts head on. You will definitely come out of the situation a stronger and happier woman, and hopefully, with a healthier and better relationship.

Love,
P

Re-Inspired

Hi everyone!

School has been kicking me in the butt as of late, and to be honest, I have been feeling so exhausted and worn out that I no longer find the joy in my education. My plan at the moment is to pursue my dreams of being a Social Worker, or being some sort of counsellor (whether it be advising, therapy, etc). I guess it’s due to the midterm season that I have been feeling so tired and unhappy about school, but I am definitely needing a pick me up.

This evening, God answered my little prayer.

As I was about to head home after mass, I heard a little voice calling my name. I turned around and looked down to see one of my former students that I had taught in my PREP class at church. She has grown up so much, and I can’t believe that it’s been three years since I’ve taught her. She was just as I remembered her last: wide smile, adorable dimples and beautiful blue eyes. Just as I was about to ask how she was doing, she started going on a little rampage of how much she’s missed me and how I was her favourite teacher.

You cannot believe how much her words warmed my heart.

Then, her mother and another person I had volunteered with at PREP came up to us and we began to catch up. They began telling me how much I had grown since my days of teaching (I had left the position 2 years ago) and how they didn’t even recognize me since I apparently look like a young woman now! 😛

I also told them of my plans after school, and they both said one of the nicest things I have heard in a while: “You would honestly be the best person to be a social worker. I can really see you doing that because we need more people like you in that field.

Wow. To hear those words was just so humbling and just lifted up my spirits so much. I’ve been so stressed with school that I am beginning to lose the bigger picture, the reason why I have gone into what I have chosen and am still working hard to get to where I want to go. But to hear those kind words really gave me a much needed boost of inspiration and motivation to do well.

Anyhow, that was just my little blurb for the day. I just wanted to share my little burst of happiness with you all. I hope you have enjoyed your weekends and that you also find little bursts of happiness and inspiration to keep you going through tough times.

Love,
P

Thanksgiving!

Wow, long time no post, dear readers! My sincerest apologies for that two month hiatus. School, work and life was just kicking me to the curb, and I honestly have had no time to really gather my thoughts and be able to express them here on my blog. However, I finally have the time to post a quick blog about a bit of my life these past two months.

Today marks Thanksgiving Day in Canada and I took it upon myself to finally let my parents sit back and relax and plan and cook Thanksgiving dinner all on my own. Surprisingly enough, I managed to cook everything really well and I got some major kudos on my cooking! Thankfully I didn’t burn the chicken (turkey is my next challenge), and the rest of my dishes turned out great. I am definitely more confident in my culinary skills and cannot wait to cook more often for my family. 🙂

 

Here are a few snap shots of the food I served my family and closest and dearest friends today:

My kale and baby spinach salad, roast chicken, and home made mashed potatoes with all the fixings.
My Filipino Spaghetti – first time making this on my own and it turned out great!
D & I all semi-fancy for Thanksgiving dinner.
My “brother” of 13 years, Kyle and I.
Look at how proud I am of myself!
Ohana.

As I was prepping and cooking everything, I found myself to be in very deep thought about my life and where I am now. School has been really tough on me, adjusting to the whole new experience of being at UBC, as well as just trying to get into my niche there. Work has been busy and tiring, but very fruitful. As for my personal life, I have been all over the place. These past two months have taught me to be more solitary and enjoy my independence and truly appreciate the friends who are still in my life and make a conscious effort of being in it. Thanksgiving has allowed me to realize that every single aspect of life should be shown gratefulness, and I truly do appreciate not only the good times in my life, but also the challenges and difficult times that I encounter.

God’s truly blessed me with an amazing support group that I cannot even begin to explain how grateful I am for them. With that being said, I still have been through many losses in terms of old friendships as of late, and  for a while, I have been feeling that weight of loss bear heavily on my shoulders. However, each day, I am slowly learning to let go of friendships that are no longer there, and make room for those that are still left and those that are coming in to blossom and flourish. I am so, so thankful for all these little blessings and more, and I do my best to remember to show that gratefulness whenever I can.

Thanksgiving was a really great experience this year, and cooking everything myself (with help from my trusty sous-chef D), I finally truly appreciated all the hard work my parents and family members put into providing good food on the table. I am so blessed to have been able to share this time with some of my nearest and dearest, and although I am pretty worn out from it all, I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I hope all of my Canadian readers have had a very blessed and fruitful Thanksgiving! Remember to show your appreciation not only one day a year, but every single day of the year. May you all stay well and happy despite all the tribulations life throws at you.

Filled with an full stomach and ready to succumb to a food coma,

P

Alexz Johnson Live at the Media Club, Vancouver, BC

Hello lovely readers!

My apologies for not having updated recently. I was so swamped with a music theory exam that I hopefully passed *fingers crossed* and doing music for a friend’s wedding. So in a nutshell, I was terribly busy. Now that I have finally had some time to sit down and breathe, I would just like to take a moment and say: “AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! EKA;FIJOASKLFDSJFA!!LK#)(@*%!”

Okay. I am okay. I am a composed and sophisticated young lady blogger. Sort of.

Anyhow, my apologies for the random burst of capitalized letters (and numbers and symbols…), but D and I just came back from the Alexz Johnson Skipping Stone Tour concert. The reason this is so significant (to me, at least), is because Alexz Johnson, a singer/songwriter, has been my number one musical inspiration since I was twelve. Since her days on Instant Star, I have been a loyal fan of hers and meeting and seeing her perform was one of my things to check off on my bucket list. And guess what blogger dudes/ettes?

I can proudly and happily say I can check that bad boy off. 😉

Credits to: http://alexzontour.tumblr.com/

Her set was freaking amazing, and I cannot believe I was so blessed to have heard her. Alexz’s stage presence was just so energetic and had the crowd so mesmerized or pumped up along with her. Her vocals were beyond phenomenal, never missed a beat or note and just so unique in itself. Perhaps I am a bit biased, but you honestly have to see her live to really understand what I mean.

Just meeting her, I felt like a complete dork not knowing what to say… she was kind enough to sign both my CD and poster that I bought from her merch. Plus, she happily took a picture with D and I. 🙂 Wow, there are so many more things I can say about this evening, but I think I shall just go to bed filled with very, very, very, very, very happy thoughts and feelings.

I will definitely post a few pictures of tonight’s event that D and I snapped with our cameras. Oh, and please take a listen to her on her YouTube page: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdiTwjbRWQo The more Alexz fans, the better. 😉

Still in shock and filled with quality music goodness,
P

Edit: Here are a few pictures I managed to snag up (I am still awaiting for the ones D took). Enjoy!

Alexz Johnson with D and I. Can you tell how happy I am?
D and I were concert ready!

Know Your Worth

Dear readers,

I am going to take a break from my very happy posts to post something a bit serious and something that has been on my mind these past few weeks. So my apologies if this post seems a bit melancholy after my string of positive posts, because to be quite honest, that is how I am feeling now. Melancholy.

In a romantic relationship, sometimes people ask themselves if they feel worthy to be with the person they care about. What deems a person worthy of being with somebody? Do their qualities in terms of looks, personality and all that like determine if they are a “worthy” candidate of someone else’s affections? I have heard often times my girlfriends telling me throughout the years, “He is so not worth it” or “He is really not worthy of you.” During those times, I was almost always sitting on the couch with them, box of kleenex in hand, bawling my eyes out. Now when I really think about it, what really defines a person’s worthiness in a relationship?

These questions are coming from my own personal experiences in my previous relationships that have led me to feel for the longest time that I was not worthy of the person I was with. After being hurt so many times from these relationships and losing bits and pieces of my self-esteem, I felt that I was no longer good enough to be with somebody and had concluded that all males were the same: nice at first, but later turned into ruthless and heartless jerks.

Of course, that conclusion isn’t always true, but from my own painful experiences, I had come to be quite bitter, cynical and really doubtful of the opposite sex and their true intentions when it came to relationships. What was it that lead to my former break ups? Was it because I wasn’t pretty or smart enough? Was it because they finally woke up and saw the light that they could have any other perfectly great girl other than myself? These break ups had led me to believe that I simply was nothing of value and I continued to wallow in self-pity and my silly insecurities.

This all changed very recently.

When I began dating D, I was a very broken person. Many terrible events in my life had turned me into a person that felt so small and fragile on the inside. Since then, D has tried faithfully every single day to teach me how to know my worth and to be fully content with what God’s graced me with and just live life. Unfortunately, time and again, my insecurities have gotten the best of me, and in turn, hurt both myself and D. It was just a constant cycle of negativity and it wasn’t until very recently that I realized my worth and truly made the efforts of waking up and changing things.

Day by day, I learned to appreciate myself and what I do. I learned to not seek the appreciation from others as much, and instead, be content with what I contributed in life and just move forward. I constantly told myself that I am a wonderful person and really do deserve happiness. Even now, while feeling a bit melancholy due to a stupid argument and misunderstanding, I told myself that just because I inadvertently hurt somebody I care about, that does not make me a bad person. It simply makes me human. And yes, I am worthy of all the happiness that graces my life, simply because I realize my own faults and do my best to be a better person every day.

So how does all of this tie into my first question? Well, I think that we define our own “worthiness”. Sure, there may be some mean and negative people out there who constantly bring you down to their level, but at the end of the day, we are responsible for how we feel and how we think of ourselves. I learned the hard way that wallowing in self-pity and entertaining my own insecurities were not going to get me very far in life, so why stay in that mindset? I learned to love myself for who I am rather than changing myself so to please other people in my life. Though I still have some massive insecurities (heck, who doesn’t?), I know better now that I am a pretty darn awesome person, but I do make mistakes and am quite the oddball. But hey, that’s part of what being human is all about. Learning to accept your strengths and weaknesses and realizing that you can’t be perfect, no matter how hard you try. No matter how much make up you put on yourself, no matter how many degrees you have, no matter how many clothes you have in your closet, no matter how many flashy new things you own, they will never amount to how you truly feel on the inside. Your worthiness is determined by how happy and content you are with yourself and how you strive to be a better person every day. So just be happy with what you have and go out and do great things.

With these things in mind, every day I feel like a better person. Even though I do have some bad days, I have learned that I am worthy of all the good things God has graced me with, and all of the things He will continue to grace me with.

I hope all of you readers are having a better day than me. I promise to go back to my happier posts once I am feeling better from a good snuggle with my big bear, Albert.

Love,
P