To Be Vulnerable

In the early stages of falling for someone or beginning a potential relationship, you normally take the time to really get to know a person inside and out before deciding whether they are worth it. The foundations of trust and loyalty are made, and with it, the lowering of high walls that have been built to allow somebody special to come in.

The smallest of facts and the biggest of secrets in your life are shared and kept in a special drawer in the other person’s mind. A strong sense of ease and comfort slowly solidifies, and an even stronger feeling of love and care begins to take shape. You begin to notice the little quirks of your significant other, such as the adorable way he always laces the left shoe before the right, or the way he constantly bites his bottom lip when he’s nervous. You tell him about how you fear being alone and forgotten, and he tells you how much he wishes his parents would show how proud they are of him. Promises are made in hushed whispers, vowing to never leave each other “no matter what”. Both of you bare it all, leaving your hearts raw and vulnerable.

With this vulnerability comes a great deal of responsibility on his end, placing your ever so delicate heart in his hands.

Just when you thought you knew everything there is to know about the person you deeply care about, you then find out that everything was an absolute lie. Your world and everything you thought you knew is shattered and you are left lost and overwhelmed with uncertainty and doubt.

Insecurities and endless questions fill your mind, leaving you grasping for a sense of normalcy; a life vest amidst the turbulent waves of lies and deception. As much as you both try to salvage what is left of your relationship, it is to no avail. The suspicions and constant unease ruin the foundations of your relationship, leaving a trail of despair and a broken heart.

Walls are once again put up to safeguard what little of your beaten heart is left. Your broken feelings are hidden behind a facade void of emotion while inside, you are screaming for honesty, justice, and most of all, love.

Once again, you are brought painfully back to reality, your relationship seeming to be nothing but a fleeting moment in this chapter of your life. You are then left to pick up the pieces and forced to move forward in the hopes of eventually finding a person worth your while.

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